Parenthood: 9 Tips For Bringing Up A Child

Now a few hints on the moral education and training of the child:

1. A child should be kept neat and tidy and, should be properly cleaned after stools. Some of you might say that this particular chore belongs to the mother. This is true. But it is equally true that the mother will perform it properly only if the father is properly orientated in this regard. It is men's duty to bring home to women the fact that an unclean child will not have a clean mind. Unfortunately not much attention is paid to this matter. Women are sometimes guilty of grave negligence in this regard.

2. A child should be fed at fixed hours. This will breed the habit of self-control and save it from a number of evils. Lack of self-control occasions evils like stealing, etc. Such a child does not learn to resist temptation. The fault lies with the mother who is ever ready to feed the child anytime it cries. It is a great mistake not to inculcate regular food habits in the infant and in the grown-up child. Regular food habits will further lead to the following good habits:

o Punctuality.
o Self-control.
o Good health.
o Cooperation. Such children will not be egocentric and selfish.
o Frugality. Such child will not suffer from the bad habit of wastefulness and extravagance.

3. A child should be helped to form the habit of relieving nature at regular hours. This is very helpful for its health. But a greater benefit is that its limbs come to acquire a sense of punctuality. Bowels become conditioned to move at fixed hours and evacuation takes place at the proper time. Some Europeans can even tell the time by the movement of their bowels for they learn to evacuate with clock-work punctuality. Regular bowels, therefore, are a must for a child.

4. Food should be served according to a prescribed measure. This will teach the child contentment and discourage gluttony.

5. A child should be given a variety of foods. It should have meat, vegetables and fruit, for dietary habits affect morals and a variety of food is necessary for a variety of morals. It should have more vegetables than meat as meat excites and in childhood there should be as little excitement as possible.

6. As the child grows, it should be asked to do small tasks under the guise of play-acting. It should be asked to fetch a utensil, to replace or carry an object and do sundry other small tasks. But it should also have the time to play on its own.

7. A child should be allowed to acquire self-confidence as a matter of habit. For instance, if it wants to have an object which it has just seen, it should be told that it would get it at a certain time. Hiding the object is no solution, for it will imitate and try to hide things which will breed the habit of stealing.

8. A child should not be over-indulged. Too much petting or caressing leads to many vices. When such a child sits in society, it expect to be fondled. This results in a number of moral evils.

9. Parents should be capable of self-sacrifice. Foods which are prohibited for an ailing child should neither be brought into the house nor should they be eaten by the parents. The child should be told that they are abstaining on his account. The child will thus learn the habit of self-sacrifice.

[Extract from the book, Way of The Seekers, by His Holiness Mirza Bashiruddin Mahmood Ahmad]


The Ahmadiyya Post, Parenthood. 14 Sept 2012